yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
