drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
