the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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