I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
