I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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