The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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