A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
