I'm drive I can fine osifer
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
