You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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