...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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