AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
