how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is wine microwaveable?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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