Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
