Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
