We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
