Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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