Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
