Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
