so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
