I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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