You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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