I'm gonna have a badass scar
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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