He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
