that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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