how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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