so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
