i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize