It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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