Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
