your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
