I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
