The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
