I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
