Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
