You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Panties = found
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
