It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
