btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
