I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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