you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
