I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
