Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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