I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
