there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
