I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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