You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize