i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
