He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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