Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Randomize
