Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
