is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
