and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
