I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My pussy is not your playground.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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