RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
