she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
