oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
