That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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