i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
