I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
