Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
