Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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