ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
