We're like a lot better than the average bears
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
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