People with herpes should wear stickers.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
