Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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