Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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