Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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