why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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