Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize