actually, I'm a sock model
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
