I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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