i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
